Tips for Caregivers

What to Do When a Parent Suddenly Needs Care

It can certainly be overwhelming when you're thrust into the situation of having to find immediate help for your elderly parent who suddenly can't care for himself. In order to cope with the decisions that lie ahead, you'll need to determine exactly what kind of care your parent requires and the options that are available. Talking to experts who deal with similar situations on a daily basis is your first step.

These tips will ease your anxiety and give you the help and support from caring professionals who understand the turmoil a parent's sudden illness or incapacity can bring.

1. Consult with your parent's doctors to learn the specific kind of medical and/or nursing care they recommend - skilled nursing, long-term care, round-the-clock care. Discuss the kinds of facilities that would best serve your parent's health care needs - at-home care, nursing home, rehab center.
   
   
2. In addition to her doctors, if your parent is in the hospital, talk to her social worker and/or discharge planner, both of whom can help you make some choices before her release and perhaps offer suggestions on health care agencies and facilities. Contact the Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116 or www.eldercare.gov) for a list of these facilities in your area.
   
   
3. Consult with a geriatric care manager for guidance in making the right decision for your parent. The VNS Elder Care Program provides information and assistance on how to handle the medical, social, physical, emotional, and financial issues you and your parent are facing. If your parent lives out of state, contact the National Association of Geriatric Care Managers for referrals (1-601-881-8008).
   
   
4. Discuss with family members how your parent and/or your family will pay for her care. Familiarize yourself with what Medicare/Medicaid covers and determine with the help of her doctors what she might need beyond that coverage.
   
   
5. If your family decision is to care for your parent at home, contact a reputable licensed home health care agency like VSN and review the options that meet your parent's requirements. The Visiting Nurse Service of New York offers a variety of home care programs both for Medicaid-eligible patients and private-pay patients.
   
   
6. Check that your parent has signed a Durable Power of Attorney along with a health care proxy designating you or another family member to act on his behalf should he become incompetent to make decisions about his health care and personal and financial matters. This legal document will help alleviate some of your stress since it will give you the authority to hire the health care agency of your choice, handle your parent's accounts to arrange payment, and pay all his other bills and expenses.
   
   
7. Learn where your parent keeps all legal and financial documents to help facilitate handling his financial affairs.