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“Why do I feel so angry?”
It is important to acknowledge the anger and to find ways to deal with it constructively. Anger is often a misunderstood emotion and cultural expectations teach us to keep it ‘bottled up’. Acknowledging that we are angry is a first step toward healing; here are some other suggestions:
- It helps to deal with anger physically - take a walk, the longer and faster the better… go for a bike ride… use an exercise bike… work out at an exercise/aerobic club… scrub floors by hand… wash walls… tear up old magazines.
- Imagine whomever or whatever you're angry at being on the other end of your blows - hang a tire in a tree and hit it with a baseball bat… beat boxes with a broom… hit a bed with a tennis racquet… pound nails… throw rocks into a lake or field.
- Write about your anger… in a journal or even in letters that you tear up.
- Crying releases anger and frustration. Do things which force the tears, such as listening to special music, looking at photos, visiting the cemetery, doing things that remind you of your loved one.
- Talking will help you to understand the specific cause of your anger. You often feel better after getting it out.
- Deep breathing, meditation, even counting to 100 help muscles to relax and resolves the physical component of your anger.
- Become aware of the dangers and limitations of "inner directed" anger and "displaced" anger. Be careful of uninhibited expressions of rage. They may make you angrier and do harm, which is self-defeating. It is important to release your anger in safe ways. Set limits so that no one is hurt.
- Consider counseling if your anger and/or depression continues.
Copyright Hope for Bereaved. © All rights reserved. Hope for Bereaved. Inc., 4500 Onondaga Blvd., Syracuse, NY 13219. Article from Hope for Bereaved handbook, available at above address: $16.00 plus $4.00 shipping and handling. (315) 475-4673, 475-9675.
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