Tips for Ensuring Your Parent's End-of-Life Wishes

Whether your parent is in good health or in the last stages of an illness, it’s essential to know his or her end-of-life wishes. Talking about them is important, but having them written down in legal documents, known as advance directives, can make a difficult time far more manageable. Here are the advance directives you need to know about:

Health Care Proxy

Also known as “power of attorney,” a health care proxy is a person designated to make medical decisions when mom or dad isn’t able. Click here for more information on a health care proxy.

Living Will

This form documents your parent’s wishes when it comes to specific medical treatments and interventions, as well as “heroic measures,” which include artificial resuscitation and mechanical ventilation. Click here for more information on advance directives for your state.

Do Not Resuscitate (DNR)

A DNR is the most specific advance directive and it’s an order that you obtain from a doctor. The DNR only applies to heroic measures that would be taken if a person is close to dying—in other words, CPR, defibrillation, use of a ventilator, and feeding tubes would not be employed under these circumstances. A DNR does not mean your loved one will not receive proper care if he or she simply goes to the hospital. You can only obtain a DNR from a physician.

Five Wishes

The newest of advance directives, Five Wishes allows your mom or dad to provide answers to the following questions, with as many or as few specifics as they desire:

• Who does your parent want to make health care decisions if he or she cannot?
• What is your parent’s choice of medical treatment?
• How does your parent want to be treated?
• What are your parent’s instructions on comfort care?
• What are your parent’s final wishes to family and friends?

Click here for more information on Five Wishes.

related Information from VNSNY

• Caring for Aging Parents
• Advance Directives

OTHER HELPFUL RESOURCES

NY Department of Health: Appointing Your Health Care Agent in New York State

Return to How To Video page